Honesty Over Performance
- Apr 17
- 2 min read
Updated: May 2
When did I shift from creating in the moment?
When did instinct give way to strategy?
I look at this photo of me in an Atlanta gallery in 2011, standing beside the gallery Bob Burkhardt (owner) in front of my black-and-white fine art work. I can still feel the energy of that night. These images were born from instinct, not strategy. Before I even knew what boudoir photography was, I was already creating it, or my version of it.
Quiet, powerful, vulnerable bodyscapes that spoke without words.
And I miss that version of me. The one who created just to feel. Just to express. Just to witness beauty in its rawest form. Somewhere along the way, maybe in the hustle or the pressure to make it, I stopped creating like that. I’ve spent the last ten years trying to build something, to shape a business, to meet all the expectations of what photography 'success' is supposed to look like. But in doing that, I lost some of the softness. Some of the presence. Some of me..
A few days ago, I had a real moment with myself. The kind of moment where everything goes quiet and heavy. Depression doesn’t always announce itself. Sometimes, it’s just the slow drift away from joy. Away from center.
But I heard something deep inside me say, You’re not broken.
I’m not failing. I’m feeling. And what a gift that is. Painful, yes. But honest. And I want honesty more than I want performance. I want presence more than I want perfection. I want to be the creative I was meant to be, not the version of me that burns herself out trying to stay visible.
So from now on, I won’t be posting on social media to market. I’m showing up to tell stories. To reconnect with the artist in me who trusted her instincts. To remember that my work was never about selling. It was always about seeing. About holding space. About reflecting people back to themselves.
And that begins again here.
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